Ulysse Nardin "Chairman"


You would think it is a symptom when a watch manufacturer's main novelty at a fair is a mobile phone. If it is, then I am certain that it is not a good one. When Ulysse Nardin presented the "Chairman" I was sort of surprised to see then embark on this route. Actually, the last watch manufacturer y expected to see in this battle. The design was interesting initially although after further inspection it turns out that the product is flawed in many, many ways.

The first flaw is what in a way makes it special. The kinetic rotor. For one I do not think that this would be an adequate power source for a mobile phone. There is no way that a mobile phone gets the activity that your wrist does. Inside your pocket or on a table the rotor is completely redundant. Hence, if you wish to charge it by means of the rotor you will end up embarking on a rather "obscene" workout. Quite stupid for a phone that will most likely be priced in the absurd range. So, the result is that you paid a whole lot of money to look like a fool once your battery is down... I wonder how this would look in a bar when you are trying to pickup a girl and she has a friend. You need to call your buddy to team up for the kill... It's 2 o'clock in the morning... your battery is almost dead... will you go to the bathroom to give it a good, jerk? I guess I have no need to go any further.


The second flaw is the software. Support will be highly doubtful. Believe me, if they say otherwise they are lying! Software support was less than satisfactory when Vertu first started and they had Nokia behind them. It is a fact that all smartphone software is still crapy and buggy unless you are an iPhone. Lest face it, if you want a smart phone you would go with and iPhone or a Blackberry. If you want a good looking high-end phone you want a Vertu with a straightforward, clean, not-so-buggy Symbian 40 software.

The third and fatal flaw is its size. It just HUMONGOUS! Way larger than an iPhone, any Blackberry, all HTCs and even Sony-Ericsson's P1. Hell, it's practically the size of a PSP!!! In these days you really have to be a whole new level of retarded to come up with something like this and think it will sell. Believe me, in the mobile phone business the LAST thing you want to do is go Panerai!

The design on the other hand is a matter of personal taste. Personally, the more I look at it, the less I like it.

Ulysse Nardin...

13 comments:

Morten said...

just one advise to the dear blogger, personal taste and style is OK, but you should get you facts straight before you go off pretending to know everything about any product!

Anonymous said...

I had one on order and in Basel I cancel. Too big for me!

KronosClub said...

What "facts" do you exactly refer too? Where does it say that I pretend to know everything about anything?

KronosClub said...

Please no obscenities... Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't stop laughing after I read the part about jerking off the phone! You're right, this phone completely sucks!

P.S Morten: Blogger never gave me the impression that he pretended to know everything. Anyways U don't need to know everything about this phone to know its crap

Anonymous said...

I paid 55K dollars for a UN in gold with gold bracelet. Automatic winding didn't work so I sent it for repair. It came back and still doesn't work...final word from UN service centre:" all UN watches with this movement have the same problem therefore it's not a problem"!

No more UN for me.

Anonymous said...

It gets more outlandish. I have read that the winder on the side works as well.
Was wishing this well until I saw the comment on how they treated the customer above.

Anonymous said...

Kronos - good blog. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

It is difficult to understand why UN has selected to go ahead with such a ill specified product. The post presented the key issues, but actually the product positioning as a smart phone is fundamentally wrong. They are entering market they clearly do not understand.

Anonymous said...

Ulysse Nardin Chairman cell phone is a cheap copy of Porsche Design P9522. Check the link to Porsche Design web at http://www.mobileporschedesign.com/. Spec is exactly what Ulysse Nardin has announced so far. P955 sells at around 800 euro price point. Ulysse Nardin Chairman is not worth of that. Little gold is not going to do any good. Shame on Ulysse Narding.

Anonymous said...

The dealer informed me that the Ulysse Narding Chairman production lot is late and Iam not going to get the unit wanted.

Anonymous said...

Ulysse Nardin ? No Thanks , I have one that never have worked !
Send bak 3 times !!
The Phone is ugly ! big havy too !
Ulysse nardin Ugly watches and Ugly staff.
Yho know that now for force selling they give the 58% of discount to the retailer?
Is a .......

Anonymous said...

Ulysse Nardin Chairman is delayed again. I had one in order and my dealer just informed me that I will not get it this year. 2 years of useless waiting. Enough is enough. The product spec is also getting tired due to delay.